The Wikipedia describes Home as a living space used as a permanent or semi-permanent residence for an individual, family, household or several families It is often a house, apartment, or other building, or alternatively a mobile home, houseboat, or any other portable shelter. A principle of constitutional law in many countries, related to the right to privacy enshrined is the inviolability of the home as an individual’s place of shelter and refuge.
The last line says it out loud!!
“A place of shelter and refuge…and peace”
But is it?
The recent Lockdown has given rise to several issues on the homefront.
Cooped up in the house, often under stressful situation of paycuts and a plethora of domestic chores, the atmosphere can fast degenerate.
Work from home, Work at home, help children with school work … and suddenly you are expected to be a super human being!
Quite a handful even for regular couples.
What happens if you are cooped up with an abusive partner? What if ypu happen to be a ready made punching bag for your partner.? It can feel like being jailed in hell!
Under normal circumstances, victims reach out to domestic violence shelters, families, or co-workers when their abuser isn’t home, But under a stay-at-home order, they may never have a chance to place a call because their abuser is always present.
Inspite of this, agencies have noted that domestic abuse has increased exponentially during this Lockdown phase.
Added to this may be a discovery pf a moment of truth with your children. Never before has been such an intense and long period where parents and children have been housebound..How well or badly your child is coping is definitely an indicator of what the home atmosphere and upbringing has been. .
Even within this Lockdown period there was the shocking discovery of the Instagram Chat Group called “Bois Locker Room”.
South Delhi teenagers all from affluent families and premier schools chatting flippantly about gang rape , that too of girls known to them!
One has to wonder, how after all that has gone on about Rape especially since Nirbhaya, can educated boys talk like this?
It definitely raises questions both on the education and on family values imparted to these children.
What do their parents talk about at home?
While, there are many external influences in our times, but the home still remains the most important source of stable and steady influence
As the crisis deepens, and the world changes over to a place of anxiety where there is mistrust even with something as basic as touch, and everyone out there needs to be considered unsafe, every surface needs to be thought of as contaminated, it is indeed a very stressful situation. Under these conditions, mental health issues is only expected to worsen. There has been a complete disruption of routine, and the possibility of impending economic hardship. The general atmosphere is depressive.
In this situation, where one is uncertain and unsure about the outside world , our Home is your only true haven.
For a long time we have had the pleasure of the whole world being open to us. Travelling was easy. Entertainment was abundant. Consumerism was at an all time high. In short there were many many diversions away from the home front.
But when there is storm brewing outside, it is important to turn inwards. It is important to keep oneself calm. Our home is an extension of our selves and hence it is important to extend that sense of calm to our homes.
Let us work on our relationships.. And not just perfunctorily. Let us give our family members the time needed to understand them and get them to understand us. Especially for the children.
In this day and age of ” nothing” being wrong and “everything ” being relative and acceptable, it is important to explain the context to our children, so that they can chose right over wrong. There cannot be any substitute for good values and respect.
It is important to work on our safe refuge.
Truly our Home can either be a a true abode of peace or simply Hell.
The choice is ours.
Notes: Pictures sourced through Internet
Exceptionally well written article on Home and relationships at home. The atmosphere at home impacts a lot on couples relationship and also influences a great deal to our children upbringing. Extremely informative,well researched and relevant to the current situation prevailing everywhere. There is so much chaos, desperation, anguish and distress. In this turbulent time I find this to the best article to read and introspect…
Thank you very much Biswarup. Really appreciate the kind words of encouragement
Thank you so much Biswarup for your appreciation and comment
An article with a practical note!
Thank you so much Naheed